My name is Jim. I'm a normal man. Normal job, normal house, normal car, normal genitalia. One day however, I wasn't so normal. In fact, quite constipated.
I had it for like a day now and i wanted to just poop. i could have just bought some laxatives, but i was planning to buy a full body rubber suit later that week so i couldnt'.
i asked the workers if hey had any any free laxaives but 'twas not the case. i went outside of the pharmacy and sighed. but from the corner of my eye, i could see a shady figure standing there. waiting for me to come over.
i approached him. he had blue scaly skin, and a black jacket and a pointed nose.
"do you need anything?" he asked.
"some laxatives." i responded.
He chuckled and pulled a pill botle from his jacket.
"for free?" i asked
"sure." he responded.
"wow! thanks a bunch!"
i drove home with my loot. as i was doing so, i saw the man laughing very hard. i was kinda suspicious. he may have looked non-human and ghetto as hell, but he gave me free laxatives. wouldn't you trust a guy who gives you free laxatives? yeah, i thought so.
when i got home i took the stuff as the man perscriped, and almost instantly i felt my but rumbling. i ran to the bathroom and took one HELL of a shit. i flushed the tiolet afterwards, but the poop didnt go down. this confused me so i took a closer look. i was scared when i saw my poop had a face and horns.
the poop tried to kill me but i called 911 and said "HELP HELP HELP MY POOP IS TRYING TO MURDER ME"
they came quickly and killed the poop for me, but to this day i am scared to poop. to this day i havent pooped in 13 years. the doctors told my i beter poop soon or i might explode, but i just cant take the risk of bringing another monster like that into the world.
oh, i guess im gonna explode now.